It's The "L" Bomb!
By: Quillan Windtalker
Love is a funny thing, completely wild and unruly. It cannot be contained and it cannot be hidden. Sometimes we feel it, and at other times we don’t. But what happens when the person you’re dating says he loves you, but you’re not so sure that you feel the same way. The natural reaction is: Freak Out, worse: steak-out!
Things are moving too fast for you, the red lights go on, the sirens start beeping, shields come up, and you’re sweating in all the wrong places! It’s not that you don’t love the guy back; it’s just that you’re not so sure that your “in love” with that person, or ready to completely commit yourself to love him in the same way.
Now there is no possible easy, healthy and harmless way to tell the person that: “yea, that’s nice, I just don’t feel the same way, yet…” Talk about brutal confidence murder. And freaking out is no way of dealing with it either. It’s running away; and since when is running away is the answer or the solution?
So if all of that is wrong, what
should we do?
1- Since you’re dating the guy, you obviously like the person. So instead of freaking out, simply take a soft deep breath and give him a kiss or a hug. An emotional touch will reassure him that you care for him.
2- Next, continue on with the date or the evening, or whatever it is you’re doing, in a normal way. When you get home, sit down with yourself and figure out what you want, for the time being, from this guy. Is he a random date? A potential boyfriend? Or maybe more.
3- Try to define where you stand in all of this. And in a very soft, kind and heartfelt attitude, tell the guy the next time you meet him exactly what’s going on, how you truly feel toward him and do it in a positive way. Never say NO, and don’t mention anything about not being “in love” or “I’m not ready yet”. Do it in a very subliminal way. Say things like: "I really care for you", or "What we have together is very special to me".
This is a much better way than saying something that might hurt the other person and end up ruining his self-confidence, or worse, ruining the relationship by having this huge elephant in the room whenever you’re alone! Also it’s a good idea to take control of how fast the relationship moves. Remember it takes two to tango, and hence it takes two to move faster or slower. Try to find a balance.
* Don’t say the word “I love you” unless you truly mean it. Because when you say it, there is no way back. The word itself is special, so using it frequently will take it’s uniqueness from it.
* Saying “I love you” shouldn’t be that stressful for you to say. Because you must be in a joyful mood, enjoying your time with one another, and promising your love to him/her.
* Sometimes when your loved one say “I love you”, and you feel that you’re not there yet, don’t disappoint your loved one, say it back, if you only feel you’re on your way there, and you will eventually, and when the right time comes, you’ll feel the "want" of saying it.
* When your lover say “I love you”, it’s nice to say “I love you too” but its better saying “And I love you” in a strong passionate way. But off course, there will be no better way as long as you mean what you’re saying.