Dig A Bit Inside, Get Your Hands Dirty!
By: M.J. Rahahleh
Having quite an interesting personality is a vital thing to make your self more eligible on the "market", because some guys like to discover what's beneath the shell of clothes and looks and go in depth to the person inside, some might say that the real beauty is the beauty on the inside.. But that’s not always a true saying… but the important question over here is: How can we differentiate a shallow person from a deep person?
The measurements are various; most people agree that you can figure out if the person is shallow or not based on his interests and/or his way of living. But those interests on which this scaling process depends on differ from one person to other, but again, most people agree that being shallow is related to superficiality and materialism. And in order to clear it out, I asked a few of my friends around the planet to get different perspectives.
The question was: Do you think that gays are shallow in general? And explain your answer. (We asked gay, lesbian and straight people)
Sami (25, Phoenix, Arizona, USA - Gay):Not all of gay people are shallow... in some cities like Milan and Florence they are obsessed with looks only. Your thought and mind aren't that important, in sort of speak. I admit that most gays are obsessed with physical appearance. I know this since I've been into that kind of situation where when you are not muscled or cute or at least good looking or wearing some fancy brand such as D&G, then you won't be accepted that much. But I also believe that there are nice and down to earth gay guys out there even the ratio is less than mostly gay guys...
Juan (32, Barcelona, Spain - Gay): Well, no… there are a lot of them, shallow gay guys… but speaking for myself, I'm not one of them.
Abimbola (19, Johannesburg, South Africa– Bisexual): While many gay men are shallow, there are many who aren't. And generalization has a lot to do with it. If you ever pick up a Gay newspaper, magazine or book you'll see that much emphasis is placed on looks, build and stature. I say, gay advertisers are just as much to blame as gay men ourselves. And the reason is simply because they attempt to create this illusion that Gay looks like, "a young, White, muscular, well-dressed guy". What they don't include are men that don't fit in that mold. So a great deal of the gay population tries to simulate that ideology of how a gay person is 'supposed' to look like. It's sad that so many gay men are shallow, I agree. But it's only because, in my opinion, it's because the gay media attempts to make us this way. However, that doesn't work with me.
Stan (43, Laveen, Arizona, USA – Straight): Gay guys are not any shallower than us straight guys. We like sexy bodies and gorgeous faces. Wouldn't you prefer a nice pair of boobs to a flat-chest girl? It's human nature to appreciate beauty.
Tia (27, Brussels, Belgium – Bisexual):We shouldn't apply stereotypes to an entire group. Usually, it just makes someone look stupid. There are plenty of deeper gay people.
Ahmed (29, Lahore, Pakistan – Gay):Guys are guys, whether they're straight or gay... always looking for the best looking one… or constantly on the lookout for an upgrade.
Kritsada (18, Bangkok, Thailand – Gay): If you go to gay bars to meet gay men you will meet shallow gay men. If you go to bars to meet any kind of people you are not going to get the best and brightest people. My social circle of gay men is educated, well traveled, well mannered and real. That is my opinion about people that are deep and not shallow.
Karen (23, Seattle, Washington, USA – Open Minded): I think that whether a person is shallow or not is determined by the people he surrounds him/herself with. It is a stereotype – I won't deny that, but it does apply to a huge pack of the gay community all around the world. We shouldn't base our opinions on stereotypes that are projected by others (the media, whatever). People are people and folks are folks wherever you go. . .
Kate (33, Perth, Australia – Lesbian):There is no difference in young gay guys and young straight guys. Young straight guys look for what is on the outside, such as great body parts, weight control, etc. So, also gay guys look for those bulging muscles. Elsewhere, pretty faces, etc. It is usually not until they begin to mature and really look for a life partner so they’ll realize it is not all about looks, but what is inside that special person. You know, like trust, respect and true love, not merely a physical love.
Fiki (20, Sofia, Bulgaria – Straight): No, that's not true, they are not. The bigger mistake than being shallow is stereotyping this notion on the whole gay community in the world.
Kareem (24, Istanbul, Turkey – Gay): A lot of movies and TV shows have applied this stereotype - it's not really fair. While gay men might enjoy more feminine things like shopping, personal appearance, etc., it does not mean they are shallow.
Marc (30, Miami, Florida, USA – Bisexual): I used to think that the muscle bound beach boys in my town were superficial, and that they gave gays a bad name, living up to the film stereotype. I went to the gym but for 'better' reasons, I thought. Then I got to know them better and I changed my mind.
Please try to remember that gays come in every size shape and color. But the drag queens and leather cowboys and muscle beach bunch look better on TV, so that's what you get on the evening news… So, don't judge any book by its cover.
Being shallow might be a huge turn off for a lot of guys, or at least for guys that seek commitment as well as deep and meaningful friendships, we should all try to dig a bit beneath the surface and see whatever is inside, whether this person deserves a spot in our lives or the exact opposite.