Romance In Class
Big Trouble Ahead
By: M.J. Rahahleh
When Cupid picks one of his lovelorn arrows and aims it at your heart, he wouldn’t care less if the object of your desire will be your teacher, your professor or simply your gardener! “While a crush on the gardener might not be that hazardous” says Gabrielle Solis, a one on your teacher/professor might turn into a real thiasco. What starts off as an innocent couple of gazes at class could turn into some serious trouble for you and your precious beloved.
This crush can be understood from the perspective that a certain teacher might represent an idealistic image of a mature person and usually is the teacher of your favorite class, thus depicting the ultimate image of the person you’re trying to hook up with. Having a crush on your teacher is normal and most of the time; the teacher is aware of this fact and will do nothing about it, mostly because his/her hands are tied with school/college rules. He knows that it will pass; if they are attractive then you’re not the first student to feel this way towards him/her.
Having a crush on a teacher is very common in middle school and high school. Even elementary school children may develop serious crushes on their teachers. I am sure that you could tell me in great detail why you "really like" this teacher. I would guess that they are attractive to you in many ways and that he has treated you with respect and kindness. And often those crushes come on teachers within the range of 25-35 years old (at the prime of their cuteness) but a 26-year-old for teacher for example doesn’t look for girlfriends or boyfriends among their students. They are forbidden by the school and by the law to engage in anything beyond a friendly teacher/student relationship. It's probably hard to think he likes you only in this limited non-romantic way but you will have to learn to accept and respect the boundaries that must exist between students and teachers, because, well, there’s no other way to do it. As long as that romance stays inside your head, it’s safe and secure. Sometimes we develop crushes and fantasize about people we know we can never have a real-life relationship with (I’m thinking Jude Law for example), yet it's safer than going after a real-life relationship and being rejected.
But if you want your teacher to admire you truly, here’s a list of do’s and don’ts:
1- Answer your teacher’s questions and make sure your answer is intelligent and mature - make sure you know what you're talking about.
2- Don't sit right at the front - teachers think that teacher's pets are annoying.
3- Say hello to him/her if you see them anywhere outside school/college. If you are not able to say a simple 'hello' then flash them a smile.
4- Don't follow the crowd and be your own person, and have a classy and unique sense of style.
5- Don’t get bad marks. If you do and you can't help it, ask for your teachers’ help, this will make you look more devoted.
6- Don’t scribble on the desk you work on during the class. It makes you look dull, dumb, boring and childish.
7- Don't be a stuck-up. It's a major turn-off.
8- If you get a good mark, don't brag around the teacher.
9- Look him/her in the eyes you will look confident and try to have good posture. Also, smiling every now and then won’t hurt.
10- When she/he is near you and you're with your friends, have intelligent conversations. Don't swear or be childish. Do not gossip.
Yet it’s not all bleak like that, you might learn some important things about yourself from your crush on this teacher. By identifying the things that you admire in this teacher, you'll see what qualities are important to you when you have opportunities to have romantic relationships with your peers. And of course, don't expect the boys/girls your age to match up with this teacher in terms of their appeal or their maturity. But most important: Do not let your infatuation, thoughts and fantasies about this person dominate most of your thoughts and you find yourself unable or unwilling to lead a normal school/college students’ social life. This is probably a lame phrase, but there’s lots of fish out there, and you just bumped into one! Try to fix your attention on your peers at class, you might find them more attractive, but not as mature as your hot teacher, but you can’t have it all!
Picture demonstrated for MJ's article (above) by :Shamil
When Cupid picks one of his lovelorn arrows and aims it at your heart, he wouldn’t care less if the object of your desire will be your teacher, your professor or simply your gardener! “While a crush on the gardener might not be that hazardous” says Gabrielle Solis, a one on your teacher/professor might turn into a real thiasco. What starts off as an innocent couple of gazes at class could turn into some serious trouble for you and your precious beloved.
This crush can be understood from the perspective that a certain teacher might represent an idealistic image of a mature person and usually is the teacher of your favorite class, thus depicting the ultimate image of the person you’re trying to hook up with. Having a crush on your teacher is normal and most of the time; the teacher is aware of this fact and will do nothing about it, mostly because his/her hands are tied with school/college rules. He knows that it will pass; if they are attractive then you’re not the first student to feel this way towards him/her.
Having a crush on a teacher is very common in middle school and high school. Even elementary school children may develop serious crushes on their teachers. I am sure that you could tell me in great detail why you "really like" this teacher. I would guess that they are attractive to you in many ways and that he has treated you with respect and kindness. And often those crushes come on teachers within the range of 25-35 years old (at the prime of their cuteness) but a 26-year-old for teacher for example doesn’t look for girlfriends or boyfriends among their students. They are forbidden by the school and by the law to engage in anything beyond a friendly teacher/student relationship. It's probably hard to think he likes you only in this limited non-romantic way but you will have to learn to accept and respect the boundaries that must exist between students and teachers, because, well, there’s no other way to do it. As long as that romance stays inside your head, it’s safe and secure. Sometimes we develop crushes and fantasize about people we know we can never have a real-life relationship with (I’m thinking Jude Law for example), yet it's safer than going after a real-life relationship and being rejected.
But if you want your teacher to admire you truly, here’s a list of do’s and don’ts:
1- Answer your teacher’s questions and make sure your answer is intelligent and mature - make sure you know what you're talking about.
2- Don't sit right at the front - teachers think that teacher's pets are annoying.
3- Say hello to him/her if you see them anywhere outside school/college. If you are not able to say a simple 'hello' then flash them a smile.
4- Don't follow the crowd and be your own person, and have a classy and unique sense of style.
5- Don’t get bad marks. If you do and you can't help it, ask for your teachers’ help, this will make you look more devoted.
6- Don’t scribble on the desk you work on during the class. It makes you look dull, dumb, boring and childish.
7- Don't be a stuck-up. It's a major turn-off.
8- If you get a good mark, don't brag around the teacher.
9- Look him/her in the eyes you will look confident and try to have good posture. Also, smiling every now and then won’t hurt.
10- When she/he is near you and you're with your friends, have intelligent conversations. Don't swear or be childish. Do not gossip.
Yet it’s not all bleak like that, you might learn some important things about yourself from your crush on this teacher. By identifying the things that you admire in this teacher, you'll see what qualities are important to you when you have opportunities to have romantic relationships with your peers. And of course, don't expect the boys/girls your age to match up with this teacher in terms of their appeal or their maturity. But most important: Do not let your infatuation, thoughts and fantasies about this person dominate most of your thoughts and you find yourself unable or unwilling to lead a normal school/college students’ social life. This is probably a lame phrase, but there’s lots of fish out there, and you just bumped into one! Try to fix your attention on your peers at class, you might find them more attractive, but not as mature as your hot teacher, but you can’t have it all!
Picture demonstrated for MJ's article (above) by :Shamil
Read more articles of MJ's:
-Read article "Sexophobia: fear of the known" where the existent fear of sex is pretty much happening in the community. The April issue of 2010 (here>)
-MJ's article "The Homophobic Note-Box" discusses the issue of homophobia and the media's mirrored reflection on the unconscious tolerance toward the issue of homophobia. (here>)
- Article “Cash This Homo, when money buys sexuality” MJ discusses the issue of straight people who go up for homosexual prostitution, it’s history and the life on the streets. The October Issue of 2009 (here>)