Last Minute of Choice
Sex or Love?
By: Max Jamie
We're devided ; some are addicts, some are nuetral and healthy, and some..well, still await for the right one and the right time! Gay or Straight, this has always been the case, its either you "Do" or you "Don't"! Its either you wait and enjoy falling in love, or you enjoy going in deeper, wink wink!
What am I talking about here? Well,its the same ol' classic tale S . E. X! In our LGTB community, sex is very important and much imposed. Its the most essential part of our lives whether it’s positive or negative. You see, being gay gives you easy sex , for one, you can't get anyone pregnant! And two, being both of the same sex makes it easier to meet and enjoy each others "company". But what happens if you just can't have sex (i.e. long distance)? or the one you like just wants to wait until you two are sure and serious about your relationship? would you chose sex and leave? Or would you stay, hang around, exchange passion and love instead and see if its worth the wait?
Sex is very important to a based relaitionship, and yes, we do have our urges and needs. However, they're to be controlled by our hormones, better yet our selfcontrol stemnia, and I agree. But..(Dare I say) sex is NOT everything in a relationship. Am I talking crazy? Maybe not this time, but let me explain the theory here.
Love without sex is possible, and sex without love is possible, but together seem to be the real good goal these days for many. But (and dare to say the BUT again) not essential. Sex is not necessary to have a fulfilling and loving relationship but its a perk that most of us think and hope will be a wonerful bonus in a romantic relationship. Though when sex is missing in quantity or quality it can indeed result in the relationship ending, just as if love is missing.
All the above depends on several conditions, If the couple were an 18 year old with hormones raging, they’d see it as the most important thing than an older couple say in their 40s or 50s. See it this way, its like the chikcen or the egg, which came first? If you are a horny-based youth you’d say sex! And if you’re a romantic you’d say love!
The debate over the importance of sex is a never ending one. How can you tell if sex is an element that would lead on your relationship with your loved one?
Ask yourself those questions: Am I in love or in lust? If my partener said they wanted to wait till after civil union aka; being sure, would i run the opposite way? Would I give my all and push myself to the limits to prove that I love my partener with or without sex?
If you answer Yes to all those Qs, then you’re definetly a romantic, you see sex as a bonus to make a relationship more beautiful rather than a must. If you answer No, then sex is the most important part and leads your relationship of your life and you can have it non-stop. If you’re stuck in between and willing to discuss and compromise, then thats the right way to do things. That’s the right ecuation to be. Don’t be an extreme person, as I always say , discussions solve everything , niether i nor you can’t stress it enough. Talk to your partner , know their points of view over sex , they either convince you, or you just know their not right for you. So it's up for you, you roll the dice... is it love? or is it Sex?
Editor’s Note: I’d like to give the credit of the “Dice” idea to flickr.com, where the original idea came from. However, the whole article is a My.Kali.mag original. Written by our in-house-writer Max J. Her article reflects a very personal and real-life fact of confusion toward the choice we may take when it comes to know the base line of Sex and Love.