Top, Bottom or upside down
Heads Or Tails?
On discrimination when coming to sexual roles
By Ala’a J.
Anal sex has been stereotyped since Roman civilization. Someone who receives penetration in a sexual relationship regardless if it was heterosexual or homosexual, was called pathic, in other words, a victim, and they were usually women or slaves. Sexual stereotypes may have some roots in the ancient Roman Empire because their empire grew and conquered vast areas of land, and their identity is characterized by a heightened sense of power that they are so attached to. The idea of power as control of others seems likely related to sexual habits in the Roman habitat.
Today our language is filled with words and phrases that use the butt as insults in a condescending way, and in ways of demeaning. “Kiss my ass, you’re heads in your ass, shove it up your ass, I’ll bust a cap in your ass, butthead, taking it in the butt,” and in Arabic, “Lateazy and toz.” These terms are used so frequently that it is evident our culture has negative images of this part of the body.
Modern day gay men enjoy comfort in using the labels top and bottom, and yet using these labels lead to a path of discrimination. Top and bottom are identities for a person’s role in a relationship. Sexually or in bed, a top is someone who penetrates. And a bottom is someone who is penetrated. Top and bottom have grown more to take on identities that could be sexual as well as refer to other aspects of the relationship. Discrimination happens when bottoms are humiliated from friends and others in the community for being a bottom. A bottom’s role in the relationship is seen as the more passive and submissive one and a top’s role is seen as dominant and active. Both sets of labels are opposite ends and they can distract us from the many possibilities that two people can share in a relationship.
In a research article done by magazine ‘Scientific American’, tops and bottoms are discussed along with people who identify as versatile. A versatile is a person who enjoys both roles. The article continues to explain that, “Tops [are] more likely to have homophobia… Versatiles seem to enjoy better psychological health.” It also writes that, “Tops may be less likely to be recruited to venues frequented by gay men and their greater internalized homophobia may result in greater denial in ever engaging in sex with other men.”
In this case when a bottom experiences discrimination it could be from the top having a bad case of homophobia. Do tops only choose to be tops because it seems like the more dominant role in the relationship? If this is true it could be about control. A person who identifies as a “top only” may feel like he must have control in the relationship and one way of doing this is sexually by being the partner who only pitches and is never the catcher!
A psychology research by Nick Yee shows that in a survey of 396 people that had the average age of 33, 10.9% are only bottoms and 11.6% are only tops, 26.8% are versatile but prefer bottom, 22.5% are versatile but prefer top, and 20% are only plain versatile. This means that around 20% chose either top or bottom and around 70% chose versatile, the remaining 7.8% never had anal sex (gay virgins) or don’t know. This research shows that only 20% of people that were researched chose one or the other, and it is more likely that a person is versatile with preferences or has not chosen.
Anal sex has been stereotyped since Roman civilization. Someone who receives penetration in a sexual relationship regardless if it was heterosexual or homosexual, was called pathic, in other words, a victim, and they were usually women or slaves. Sexual stereotypes may have some roots in the ancient Roman Empire because their empire grew and conquered vast areas of land, and their identity is characterized by a heightened sense of power that they are so attached to. The idea of power as control of others seems likely related to sexual habits in the Roman habitat.
Today our language is filled with words and phrases that use the butt as insults in a condescending way, and in ways of demeaning. “Kiss my ass, you’re heads in your ass, shove it up your ass, I’ll bust a cap in your ass, butthead, taking it in the butt,” and in Arabic, “Lateazy and toz.” These terms are used so frequently that it is evident our culture has negative images of this part of the body.
Modern day gay men enjoy comfort in using the labels top and bottom, and yet using these labels lead to a path of discrimination. Top and bottom are identities for a person’s role in a relationship. Sexually or in bed, a top is someone who penetrates. And a bottom is someone who is penetrated. Top and bottom have grown more to take on identities that could be sexual as well as refer to other aspects of the relationship. Discrimination happens when bottoms are humiliated from friends and others in the community for being a bottom. A bottom’s role in the relationship is seen as the more passive and submissive one and a top’s role is seen as dominant and active. Both sets of labels are opposite ends and they can distract us from the many possibilities that two people can share in a relationship.
In a research article done by magazine ‘Scientific American’, tops and bottoms are discussed along with people who identify as versatile. A versatile is a person who enjoys both roles. The article continues to explain that, “Tops [are] more likely to have homophobia… Versatiles seem to enjoy better psychological health.” It also writes that, “Tops may be less likely to be recruited to venues frequented by gay men and their greater internalized homophobia may result in greater denial in ever engaging in sex with other men.”
In this case when a bottom experiences discrimination it could be from the top having a bad case of homophobia. Do tops only choose to be tops because it seems like the more dominant role in the relationship? If this is true it could be about control. A person who identifies as a “top only” may feel like he must have control in the relationship and one way of doing this is sexually by being the partner who only pitches and is never the catcher!
A psychology research by Nick Yee shows that in a survey of 396 people that had the average age of 33, 10.9% are only bottoms and 11.6% are only tops, 26.8% are versatile but prefer bottom, 22.5% are versatile but prefer top, and 20% are only plain versatile. This means that around 20% chose either top or bottom and around 70% chose versatile, the remaining 7.8% never had anal sex (gay virgins) or don’t know. This research shows that only 20% of people that were researched chose one or the other, and it is more likely that a person is versatile with preferences or has not chosen.
"The idea of tops & bottoms & it's discrimination-forms in our homo-world comes from our dominant Arab-heterosexual culture where men are 'tops' and women are 'bottoms' "
Steven G. Underwood writes that, “Where both men [take] turns f**king each other is often exercised as a celebration of equality. What sets this scenario apart from the others is the versatility of the men involved. Versatility is a unique and important feature of male anal sex. Some men consider it liberating… Versatility to them is akin to speaking two different languages. It requires a special kind of playfulness, creativity, curiosity, and coordination.”
The idea of tops and bottoms and it's discrimination-forms in our homosexual world also comes from our dominant (Arab) heterosexual culture where men are “tops” and women are “bottoms”. Because of the terminology, it is impossible to have a woman who tops, she could be a “top” in other parts of the relationship, but sexually she is forced to be labeled as “bottom” and that in itself is a form of discrimination. It is as if these labels are saying that a top is enforcing his power over the bottom. The terminology of each role also gives us hints about how the culture views these sexual roles. Top and bottom represent a hierarchy that is split in two parts, top, which is higher and better, and bottom, which is lower and worse. It could be a representation of the power dynamics between two people.
It might be an easy answer that a person should choose to be versatile, but what if a person prefers one role more than the other without the hierarchy? That person is also labeling himself according to the words, and already this proposes a power-relationship. In this case it is not true that a bottom is always a passive person and a top is always a dominant person, perhaps the labels top and bottom work well when they refer to the specific situation at that time between partners without the entitlements.
The idea of tops and bottoms and it's discrimination-forms in our homosexual world also comes from our dominant (Arab) heterosexual culture where men are “tops” and women are “bottoms”. Because of the terminology, it is impossible to have a woman who tops, she could be a “top” in other parts of the relationship, but sexually she is forced to be labeled as “bottom” and that in itself is a form of discrimination. It is as if these labels are saying that a top is enforcing his power over the bottom. The terminology of each role also gives us hints about how the culture views these sexual roles. Top and bottom represent a hierarchy that is split in two parts, top, which is higher and better, and bottom, which is lower and worse. It could be a representation of the power dynamics between two people.
It might be an easy answer that a person should choose to be versatile, but what if a person prefers one role more than the other without the hierarchy? That person is also labeling himself according to the words, and already this proposes a power-relationship. In this case it is not true that a bottom is always a passive person and a top is always a dominant person, perhaps the labels top and bottom work well when they refer to the specific situation at that time between partners without the entitlements.