When a person’s reputation is at hand things can get complicated. Reputation has many levels and it is certainly an important part of Middle Eastern/Arabic culture. First of all there is the reputation of being gay in a culture that does not accept homosexuality. This is enormously stressful and often a secretive part of someone’s life. In a sense this adds a level of intensity to everything that is not always expressed but it still affects how a gay person identifies in the greater society. If he/she is outcast because of homosexuality, the person has already been objected to discrimination, oppression, and neglect. Heterosexual and traditional Arabic lifestyles place homosexual people at the bottom of the totem pole. Also consider the reputation of being a top, bottom, or versatile, in mainstream culture and within groups of friends and closer relationships. With all these possibilities a gay person who is trying to live his/her life still finds themselves worrying about their reputation.
"Where does a person's sexual identity come from? Versatility could be a good alternative to choosing top or bottom but they are just labels..."
This discussion brings up the idea of being aware of the difference between the sexual relationship and the rest of the relationship. Sex could be the most intimate connection between two people and it is possible that is why the labels top and bottom usually refer to sexual identity. Where does a person’s sexual identity come from? Versatility could be a good alternative to choosing top or bottom but they are just labels, if these labels were to say something about the person’s identity it could hint at tendencies towards dominance, passivity, and ambiguity. Usually a person could experience all of these, at one point or at different times. Sexual relationships come with so much power attached, and often these could be experienced after sex.
If we look at the broader scope at mainstream culture, we can see overly masculine men blindly dominate passive women, as they play the active part in the relationship, make more money, have better jobs, and they have been enabled into an over powering sense of entitlement (not necessarily true). In this culture the words top bottom and versatile could have started out as sexual terms, but when people say that versatile is a lifestyle of equality for homosexuals this is revolutionary. This topic is brought into light because of the homosexual perspective that both partners could be versatile, whereas in the beginning there was a heterosexual dynamic imposed on a homosexual one. Leading a lifestyle of equality between partners that does not rely on hierarchical stereotypes (sexual roles) is liberating for the entire culture.
If we look at the broader scope at mainstream culture, we can see overly masculine men blindly dominate passive women, as they play the active part in the relationship, make more money, have better jobs, and they have been enabled into an over powering sense of entitlement (not necessarily true). In this culture the words top bottom and versatile could have started out as sexual terms, but when people say that versatile is a lifestyle of equality for homosexuals this is revolutionary. This topic is brought into light because of the homosexual perspective that both partners could be versatile, whereas in the beginning there was a heterosexual dynamic imposed on a homosexual one. Leading a lifestyle of equality between partners that does not rely on hierarchical stereotypes (sexual roles) is liberating for the entire culture.