Fear of The Unknown!
on the reasons sexphobia in the gay community
By: MJ Rahahleh
Sex, such a magnificent array of emotions that can stir up anyone on the face of Earth, whether they’re gay, straight or bisexual… Well, not exactly ‘‘anyone’’. For some, sex isn’t that much of a thrill, and they even hold a grudge against it and grow weary of the mere mention of the word. Why so? No one really knows.
Sex is supposed to be the ultimate appreciation between a couple and the most solid proof of mutual feelings, it’s intriguing and fascinating at the same time, and even as we grow older, we can’t have enough of it (sorry for the mental image!). So why would someone actually give up that thrill by choice while its one of the key elements of a natural life?
Reasons may vary, first of all: it might be regarding their physical shape. They might not be that comfortable with their physical appearance to a point that they think if someone is interested in them; it’s just out of plain pity. Another possible reason is a previous incident that included intercourse, such as rape or torture, which can be an experience that scars someone’s soul to the extent of becoming repulsed by the word ‘sex’ itself, not mentioning the physical part of it.
Or, another probable reason is fear from something not tried yet. This enlists as partial Sexophobia and it’s common for everyone. For the gay crowd; it might be the fear of pain whilst penetration for example. Partial Sexophobia also includes some kind of resistance to certain sexual acts sought as ‘normal’ by the majority, hence Sexophobia is a part of homophobia; since heterosexuals show some sort of detest for homosexual acts. And to be fair, homosexuals also show an extent of loathing for heterosexual acts. It doesn’t have to be said, it just has to be felt inside.
Although this so called ‘Sexophobia’ is not that common, it still exists partially in every one of us. The best notion to fix this situation is the Medieval Arabic proverb:
طعامُ زيدٍ سمٌّ لِعمر
Or in the Latinized version: What’s good for you is not good for someone else!
Art work (above): Shabi Assaf Gatenio
Sex, such a magnificent array of emotions that can stir up anyone on the face of Earth, whether they’re gay, straight or bisexual… Well, not exactly ‘‘anyone’’. For some, sex isn’t that much of a thrill, and they even hold a grudge against it and grow weary of the mere mention of the word. Why so? No one really knows.
Sex is supposed to be the ultimate appreciation between a couple and the most solid proof of mutual feelings, it’s intriguing and fascinating at the same time, and even as we grow older, we can’t have enough of it (sorry for the mental image!). So why would someone actually give up that thrill by choice while its one of the key elements of a natural life?
Reasons may vary, first of all: it might be regarding their physical shape. They might not be that comfortable with their physical appearance to a point that they think if someone is interested in them; it’s just out of plain pity. Another possible reason is a previous incident that included intercourse, such as rape or torture, which can be an experience that scars someone’s soul to the extent of becoming repulsed by the word ‘sex’ itself, not mentioning the physical part of it.
Or, another probable reason is fear from something not tried yet. This enlists as partial Sexophobia and it’s common for everyone. For the gay crowd; it might be the fear of pain whilst penetration for example. Partial Sexophobia also includes some kind of resistance to certain sexual acts sought as ‘normal’ by the majority, hence Sexophobia is a part of homophobia; since heterosexuals show some sort of detest for homosexual acts. And to be fair, homosexuals also show an extent of loathing for heterosexual acts. It doesn’t have to be said, it just has to be felt inside.
Although this so called ‘Sexophobia’ is not that common, it still exists partially in every one of us. The best notion to fix this situation is the Medieval Arabic proverb:
طعامُ زيدٍ سمٌّ لِعمر
Or in the Latinized version: What’s good for you is not good for someone else!
Art work (above): Shabi Assaf Gatenio
Read more articles for MJ:
-Read MJ's article on love within the lecture/class room, when your teacher isn't teaching a one way-method of Chemistry. The June 2010 (here>)
-MJ's article "The Homophobic Note-Box" discusses the issue of homophobia and the media's mirrored reflection on the unconscious tolerance toward the issue of homophobia. (here>)
- Article “Cash This Homo, when money buys sexuality” MJ discusses the issue of straight people who go up for homosexual prostitution, it’s history and the life on the streets. The October Issue of 2009 (here>)