The Maelstorm of Love:
Can You Stand Your
Ground?
By: Max Jamie & M.J. Rahahleh
Love is the ultimate battlefield for one to go through, and the logical ending is that you either win or lose, the question is: How can you pull it down that rough path? I’m not trying to start off by making love look bad, but love isn’t that good either; it can lift you higher or drown you to the dark heart of its depth.
This is how it usually starts: You love someone, and then for some reason you just don't love them anymore, or someone loves you, and then suddenly they don't want you anymore. Love isn’t all colored and beautiful with pink puppies flying around and baby blue-ish doves hovering all around, because most of the time, it’s as far as it gets from that.
Falling in love is one of the easiest things ever, and once you do, you start to see things in a different way, all filled with hope and so on; life is beautiful again, there goes the warm breeze and the birds' humming that doesn’t exist anywhere outside your own world of imagination... All of the flaws of your beloved are explainable, all their mistakes are forgivable, and midnight phone-calls make even the night seem beautiful.
Then trouble arouses in paradise, the fighting starts, the pain and the misery enters through the door while love and early morning caresses escape right out the window. They're not so perfect and pretty anymore, you can't stand the constant yelling, you just provoke fights to avoid that once beautiful anxiously awaited sweet midnight calls. Suddenly, your image of perfection is your perfect hell.
But even though, you're still in love, you'd give an arm to see them smile, and they'd do exactly the same. But it isn't just so easy anymore, you have to struggle for one romantic day, struggle to hear "I Love You", once for free and it came in dozens, now something you have to wait to hear.
They've changed, suddenly you catch them staring at hotties walking down the street while you're holding their hand, you walk in on them texting some mystery someone she met at a bar while you were at work, they’re no longer your significant someone, they’re just someone else…
They’re still- madly in love with you, but way less than they used to when the fires started to enflame.
Love is the mother of all battlefields. You just can't spend a minute away from them, and can't stand that minute at the same time. It's a bit ironic, though it's nothing new. Same like with Bruce Willis and Demi Moore, they loved each other with no limits, but they divorced each other because they couldn’t stand living together (!).
Now that’s your battle to fight... One's own joy can be, indeed, one's own excruciating pain. It's a balanced equation. The colors are still there, and the birds are still singing, but it hurts to look at them and hurts to hear them. To see what reality is and reminisce what it was supposed to be by now, that's the difference.
Love last three years, first a year of passion, then a year of intimacy, lastly a year of boredom.
In year one you say: "If you leave me, I'll kill myself."
In year two you say: "If you leave me, I'll be hurt, but that’s a risk I’m willing to take."
In year three, you say: "If you leave me, I'll pop champagne once you walk out that door."
The statics speak for themselves: In average, passion lasts for about 317.5 days; two out of three relationships end in divorce and within the three years of marriage. Since 1947, the United Nations has published a survey of the incidence of divorce in seventy-two countries which states that the majority of divorces occur in the fourth year of marriage, which means that one of the couple filed for divorce in the third year.
I know I talked about marriage, but we both know that a serious relationship is no different than a marriage. If the relationship wasn't so serious, it won’t stand for more than 3 months maximum.
Let's talk science, shall we? Chemistry wise, love is a fleeting series of bursts of Dopamine, Noradrenalin and Oxytocin. A tiny molecule called PEA creates feelings of joy, bliss, and euphoria. When neurons in the limbic system are suddenly flooded with PEA, we call it love at first sight. Intimacy is based on endorphins (the opium of a couple). It's proven, the hormones only work for a while, and then they just quit.
So, what’s the truth underneath all of this sea of dwelling lies? Is love just a myth created by the human mind to face certain problems and demons? It might be, love lasts for three years, or thirty. Exceptions exist. Just don't believe that love comes in shiny and stays shiny forever to come, because it may not. It’s no easy path; it's not colored really, a façade is what it is. You know the song, "I can't take my eyes off of you"? Well, it ends this way, "Till I find somebody new." Makes sense, don't it?
Editor’s Note: The article may approach you with a negative view on love within it’s both sides good and bad. We may’ve brought that as a reality check, but in the same time, it reflects the writer’s views that we published for the differ door it may’ve approached. Toward the picture themed of Khalid and oleanders soaked in milk gives the idea of no matter how beautiful a rose could be, it could be simply poisonous by just smelling, touching or eating! The idea of drenching the oleanders in milk, is in fact a search Khalid did over his favorite flower, (in the process of drenching the oleanders in milk, it de-poison itself and re-nourish it’s petals through milk.)