My.Kali's Investigations:
Attitude:
It Defines Social Altitude!
By: M.J. Rahahleh
We all build walls around ourselves, hiding and guarding that special skeleton we all have in somewhere stacked in our closets, and the reason why we do that is pretty much obvious: we’re guarding something we don’t want others to know, because, if they do know it, it might change the way they treat us. Whether this secret is sexual orientation wise, or a habit, or simply a dark fact about something we buried a long time ago and we don’t want it to surface again. We make sure pretty much well that it doesn’t show up at all. We build an impenetrable fortress just to make sure that no matter what, we don’t get caught.
And in the case of this skeleton being, is sexual orientation, the fortress grows bigger, and the walls tend to be thicker. Some, consider it to be a darker secret than any other ones ever to exist, that must be preserved and hid from all and never be outed, for the consequences might be catastrophic. And to guard that fortress, a moat of attitude grows. That attitude can vary from a little diversion of personality to meet social norms and standards, to a complete change of way of thinking, just to fit into these pre-printed norms and customs, which some are wrongfully exploited in, Bekhsoos’s homophobe of the month, Basma Nsour’s horrid article in Al-Ghad newspaper about the link between homosexuality and pedophilia (AS IF!) and how the society is supposed to react regarding LGBTQ issues. [1]
This gay attitude can be internal (towards other homosexual individuals) or external (towards other individuals of the society). While an external one is completely justifiable for the previously mentioned reasons of fear, an internal one seems completely absurd. Yet some homosexual persons keep up an attitude, an image that they try to maintain so hard. Eventually the made up image consumes them and their original identity is forever lost in the midst of this intense camouflaging process. This image might be, for example, trying to look in a better economic status, or a better social class/background, or just to be separated from the crowd by certain traits.
We all build walls around ourselves, hiding and guarding that special skeleton we all have in somewhere stacked in our closets, and the reason why we do that is pretty much obvious: we’re guarding something we don’t want others to know, because, if they do know it, it might change the way they treat us. Whether this secret is sexual orientation wise, or a habit, or simply a dark fact about something we buried a long time ago and we don’t want it to surface again. We make sure pretty much well that it doesn’t show up at all. We build an impenetrable fortress just to make sure that no matter what, we don’t get caught.
And in the case of this skeleton being, is sexual orientation, the fortress grows bigger, and the walls tend to be thicker. Some, consider it to be a darker secret than any other ones ever to exist, that must be preserved and hid from all and never be outed, for the consequences might be catastrophic. And to guard that fortress, a moat of attitude grows. That attitude can vary from a little diversion of personality to meet social norms and standards, to a complete change of way of thinking, just to fit into these pre-printed norms and customs, which some are wrongfully exploited in, Bekhsoos’s homophobe of the month, Basma Nsour’s horrid article in Al-Ghad newspaper about the link between homosexuality and pedophilia (AS IF!) and how the society is supposed to react regarding LGBTQ issues. [1]
This gay attitude can be internal (towards other homosexual individuals) or external (towards other individuals of the society). While an external one is completely justifiable for the previously mentioned reasons of fear, an internal one seems completely absurd. Yet some homosexual persons keep up an attitude, an image that they try to maintain so hard. Eventually the made up image consumes them and their original identity is forever lost in the midst of this intense camouflaging process. This image might be, for example, trying to look in a better economic status, or a better social class/background, or just to be separated from the crowd by certain traits.
"...because eventually, the attitude consumes you and suddenly you won't be able to find your true self anymore..."
Why does it even exist (attitude)?
Factors contributing to it. Why would anyone have an attitude? Some might say that having an attitude is simply giving yourself new grounds and power over others, having the ‘tough bitch’ attitude that never lets anyone cross that red thin line with him/her. It might come from a past experience when the individual has been through a certain situation where they wish they acted differently, and this situation affects their way of life for the rest of their lifetime, or that situation might’ve happened with an acquaintance and in fear of being put in the same situation again. They put up a mask as a way of defense. But it’s not all clear, and that leads to the golden question:
Why do people have such an attitude?
Truth is, people in general have a nasty habit of saying one thing then doing the opposite, even with the best of intentions. You see it all the time. People say they're worried about global warming and yet they drive around in a big gas guzzler. They say that money isn't their God, yet they work all these hours. They say they want to be fit but they don't do any exercise at all.
If you tick 4 or more of the following choices, then you certainly have an attitude:
- Always believe that you are right and only your opinion matters;
- Tough it out and refuse to give way on any issue;
- Threaten others in order to get your own way;
- Instantly react in a situation, never count to ten first before
responding;
- Talk in a sarcastic or cynical way to others;
- Undermine others so that their position is weakened;
- Don’t hold anything back, say anything that comes into your
head;
- Explode in anger when you think that others let you down.
But is having an attitude a good thing or a bad thing? Well, the answer to that depends on the attitude! Depending on the previously ticked problems. So, if you have an attitude problem, you might want to work on it, because eventually, the attitude consumes you and suddenly you won’t be able to find your true self anymore, and take down the ‘seize the bull by its horns’ approach a little bit.
But eventually, our attitudes are us. But, they can be changed. In fact, in some instances that we find ourselves in, they are the only thing we can change. And, we always have the power to choose the attitude we will exhibit, but not always easy.
Factors contributing to it. Why would anyone have an attitude? Some might say that having an attitude is simply giving yourself new grounds and power over others, having the ‘tough bitch’ attitude that never lets anyone cross that red thin line with him/her. It might come from a past experience when the individual has been through a certain situation where they wish they acted differently, and this situation affects their way of life for the rest of their lifetime, or that situation might’ve happened with an acquaintance and in fear of being put in the same situation again. They put up a mask as a way of defense. But it’s not all clear, and that leads to the golden question:
Why do people have such an attitude?
Truth is, people in general have a nasty habit of saying one thing then doing the opposite, even with the best of intentions. You see it all the time. People say they're worried about global warming and yet they drive around in a big gas guzzler. They say that money isn't their God, yet they work all these hours. They say they want to be fit but they don't do any exercise at all.
If you tick 4 or more of the following choices, then you certainly have an attitude:
- Always believe that you are right and only your opinion matters;
- Tough it out and refuse to give way on any issue;
- Threaten others in order to get your own way;
- Instantly react in a situation, never count to ten first before
responding;
- Talk in a sarcastic or cynical way to others;
- Undermine others so that their position is weakened;
- Don’t hold anything back, say anything that comes into your
head;
- Explode in anger when you think that others let you down.
But is having an attitude a good thing or a bad thing? Well, the answer to that depends on the attitude! Depending on the previously ticked problems. So, if you have an attitude problem, you might want to work on it, because eventually, the attitude consumes you and suddenly you won’t be able to find your true self anymore, and take down the ‘seize the bull by its horns’ approach a little bit.
But eventually, our attitudes are us. But, they can be changed. In fact, in some instances that we find ourselves in, they are the only thing we can change. And, we always have the power to choose the attitude we will exhibit, but not always easy.
Editor’s Note: [1] Bekhsoos’s Homophobe of the month, Basma Nsour, the one M.J. pointed out, has written an article called “a little ignorance won’t hurt” last year (July 09) were she talked about homophobia shouldn’t be discriminated, and related homosexuality to pedophilia, Read her piece in Arabic (here>)