What it feels like to...
Have A Gay Mum
words: Laura Jane Macbeth
Anna*, 14, from Dorset, was 11 when her mum told her she was a lesbian…
“One day, about two year ago, I was at home chatting to my mum about homework, when suddenly she asked: ‘What do you think of gay people?’
“’They’re OK,’ I replied. There was a pause. Then she said: ‘Well, I’m a lesbian.’ I nodded like it wasn’t a big deal, but my head was spinning.
I suppose Mum had always been a bit blokey-she wore baggy trousers, and she’d cut her hair really short. But I’d never given it much thought.
“I wanted to ask how long she’d known she was gay, but I couldn’t get the words out. Maybe she’d known for years. After all, Mum and dad had split up when I was two and she hadn’t had a boyfriend since then. I couldn’t even remember her going out on any dates.
“Then, I had a thought… ‘Is that why I couldn’t go to that church with you, then?’ Mum nodded. She’d stopped going to our local church about a year before and started going to one nearby without me. Now I knew why –it was one for gay people. We talked for a few more minutes, but I was still in shock, so I went upstairs to my room and wrote in my diary.
“I wrote that I didn’t really think it was normal, although I didn’t think it was normal, although I didn’t think it was bad, either. All my friends had a mum and dad, or stepdad. I had a friend whose uncle was gay, so it wasn’t like I didn’t know anything about it, but at the same time, I didn’t want people at school to know – I knew I’d get bullied. I also worried that people would shout at Mum or beat her up.
“A few days later, after I’d got used to the idea, I told two of my best friends, Emma* and Kate*. Their reaction? ‘Really? That’s cool…’ I couldn’t believe how easy it was – they were so supportive. But when we discussed gay people at school, this group of girls said they thought gays were disgusting and should be banned from the country. I didn’t take offence. I just laughed – they’re so stupid.
“At church, Mum made friends with a woman called Ruby*. Last March, Mum told me she liked her and asked if she should ask her out. It was strange giving my mum love advice, but by this point I was much more comfortable with her being gay, and told her to go for it. They’ve been together ever since. It took a few months to get used to seeing Mum with a woman, but after that it didn’t really bother me. They don’t often hold hands or kiss in front of me, but when they do, I look away. That’s not because they’re gay. I think it’s just like anyone not wanting to see their parents doing that.
“I think I will tell more people as time goes by, when I go to uni for example. Hopefully, by then, I’ll become a bit more ‘This is who I am – deal with it’ rather than worrying what people will think. But for now, Mum telling me she’s gay has brought us closer.”
* names have been changed.
Where The
Story
Came From
The story of (What It Feels To Have A Gay Mum) is from Sugar magazine June 2005. We'd like to notify that we're giving the credit of the story to the original publishers the way it should be, but we published one copy of the story for it's contents on a LGBT issue that might help our readers to relate and find more gay-common related stuff that could seeks them a veiw on more LGBT issues.
Story
Came From
The story of (What It Feels To Have A Gay Mum) is from Sugar magazine June 2005. We'd like to notify that we're giving the credit of the story to the original publishers the way it should be, but we published one copy of the story for it's contents on a LGBT issue that might help our readers to relate and find more gay-common related stuff that could seeks them a veiw on more LGBT issues.