Sticky-Noted...
Harassed & Edged!
on sexual harassment and emotional bullying
By Valentine Rossetti
When it comes to our world, living within certain boundaries isn't really what some goes by. Rules are meant to be broken, is that it? Is there a point to prove here, or is it the desperate attempt to achieve something under the circumstances of a powerful position, knowing in the usual life stances it isn't something you go for, knowing it's risks, and it's unethical picture. But what happens when the hands brush off your thigh? Sexual harassment is something not everyone will experience, however it is something which is on the rise. Sexual harassment usually breeds in the workplace, a busy environment, where human contact is at its most tempestuous.
The majority of sexual harassment is most common among women, particularly younger women being harassed by their co-workers or bosses, but when it comes to gay sexual harassment the situation is very different. Research by the British based LGBT charity Stonewall found that the most common situation was older men (who usually hold a senior position) harassing younger men, who hold more lower positions, such as a personal assistant, where the boss can exploit the person, usually by holding the threat of firing them, without a reference. But how does that feels any different from Bulling? One guy answers on Yahoo Answers:
"Bullying means that in some way the victim is intimidated or frightened, there are variations but they all have to do with someone being overbearing towards another. Harassment, however, can occur without any overbearing acts and without fright or intimidation. Harassment merely means to vex someone or to cause them trouble, especially repetitiously. So you could be harassed by someone sending you too many text messages, but you might not be frightened, intimidated, overawed, or overborne. Just troubled, vexed. Obviously bullying would trouble you, so it would always be harassment, but you can be troubled by things other than bullying."
However If you have ever experienced either, you know that your voice and your personal-space have been assaulted.
Sexual harassment can be very difficult to define, unless it is outwardly obvious, as many cases are, where someone will pursue another person vermently, constantly asking them out on dates (even after being turned down) sending a barrage of intimidating texts, emails and so on, a person who will just genuinely not take “no” for an answer, in rare cases this can also escalate into darker territory, such as rape. But it can be done subtly, and often confused with just being over friendly, these are the most difficult forms of sexual harassment, as the person suffering from it can face genuine persecution from co-workers if they reveal the subject.
For example, if a senior figure keeps invading your personal space e.g. leaning in too close when in conversation, touching your leg, stroking your face etc, it is most likely the person will head further into the realms of harassment, and if you tell them to stop what they’re doing and they refuse, then it is inevitable. These are the first most subtle forms, thus making it extremely difficult to reveal to others, with fear that no one will believe you. The other most common form in regards to subtle sexual harassment is a person will befriend another, act as a confidant, yet concealing their own hidden agenda, pouring praise and admiration on the other person, so as to eventually bed the victim.
In the majority of cases, the situation will eventually die down and though sexual harassment is on the rise, it can be easily countered, by keeping strong and resilient.
"If you ever experienced either bullying or
harassment, know that your voice and person-hood has been invaded"
Know your rights when coming to terms of
working. When you know your rights then you know your position or what’s the
next step to take. Ask for working-rights and laws so you’ll know exactly
what’s happening. Do tell a friend on what’s been going on, so someone would be
informed on what’s been happening. Keeping things under the radar would easily
be denied and eventually dismissed. So keep a head-up on your issues.
Confronting the person who’s been sexually bothering you is a risk that must be taken. Confronting the person with what’s been bothering you toward his moves is a very forward move, it could even come to a shock. Since he’s being forward over what he’s doing, being forward with your words would put him in an awkward position. Knowing saying it out loud will actually stamp that “it’s really happening” on the situation, and will put what’s been happening into words instead of just hints here and there. Forcing the person to either stop, or to actually go through with it in more forward moves, since you put it out there. But best of all, keeping distance from an authority figure who’s been hinting sexual advocacy, is the best way to go.
Another way that could ease the bump is to de-sex yourself, which is a whole different chapter! But the meaning is to dispose whatever the person who’s harassing you finds attractive. That’s a move requires searching and consistence over a certain act till the person loses interest. Playing “chase this” would either bore the person or will make it more interesting, depends on the person.
Whether you live here in Jordan or somewhere in the Middle East, or anywhere else, gay sexual harassment are pretty much happening everywhere. Whether it’s your private Literature tutor, a police man with poised pen upon a ticket, or an agent in a modeling agency who won’t let you go through! Promises are made in advance in exchange of sexual attempts. The pressure of perusing something you really want to go through in exchange of sex is something you don’t have to put up with. Using sex as a weapon is something to shield from, it’s just as dangerous as GaGa’s bras!
Staying safe in the gay world is a constant demand one could ask for. There are simply dozens of experiences to be had, not all of them will be good, but to not have any bad experiences in life would simply be unrealistic, so just remember to learn from them, and deal with each situation on its own.
Picture demonstrated for Valentine's article (above) by :Shamil
Confronting the person who’s been sexually bothering you is a risk that must be taken. Confronting the person with what’s been bothering you toward his moves is a very forward move, it could even come to a shock. Since he’s being forward over what he’s doing, being forward with your words would put him in an awkward position. Knowing saying it out loud will actually stamp that “it’s really happening” on the situation, and will put what’s been happening into words instead of just hints here and there. Forcing the person to either stop, or to actually go through with it in more forward moves, since you put it out there. But best of all, keeping distance from an authority figure who’s been hinting sexual advocacy, is the best way to go.
Another way that could ease the bump is to de-sex yourself, which is a whole different chapter! But the meaning is to dispose whatever the person who’s harassing you finds attractive. That’s a move requires searching and consistence over a certain act till the person loses interest. Playing “chase this” would either bore the person or will make it more interesting, depends on the person.
Whether you live here in Jordan or somewhere in the Middle East, or anywhere else, gay sexual harassment are pretty much happening everywhere. Whether it’s your private Literature tutor, a police man with poised pen upon a ticket, or an agent in a modeling agency who won’t let you go through! Promises are made in advance in exchange of sexual attempts. The pressure of perusing something you really want to go through in exchange of sex is something you don’t have to put up with. Using sex as a weapon is something to shield from, it’s just as dangerous as GaGa’s bras!
Staying safe in the gay world is a constant demand one could ask for. There are simply dozens of experiences to be had, not all of them will be good, but to not have any bad experiences in life would simply be unrealistic, so just remember to learn from them, and deal with each situation on its own.
Picture demonstrated for Valentine's article (above) by :Shamil
Read more articles of Valentine's:
- Article "Bullying! The eternal emotional hell" where Valentine scraped through the causes of homophobic bullying. The October issue 2009 (here>)
- Read article "10 years of Gay" which My.Kali covered 10 years of gay headlines of 10 years, 1999-2009. Valentine searched the World's and Middle East's news archives on gay related headlines. A piece that was celebrated by Gay Travelers and writers network. The December issue of 2009 (here>)
- Article "Imaan, a true lifeline for LGBT Muslims" Valentine has met with organization Imaan in London, writing for My.Kali's Faith issue, discussing the conflict of being a Muslim and homosexual. Also discussing the organization's history and aims. discusses the issue of homophobia and the media's mirrored reflection on the unconscious tolerance toward the issue of homophobia. The September issue of 2009 (here>)