Safety In Numbers!
on denying stereotypes and defining new identities...
By Julian Rahahleh
For straight people, whether they were open minded and gay tolerant or not, they pretty much think that man-to-man relationships are becoming a substitute to the traditional idea of a man-woman relationship, and some of those straight people also think that the glamorous gay scene in the media and especially in the fashion sector is another way to prove that, too. So, are gay men stealing the role of women in the world? Snatching those men, jobs and fabulous bags from them? Or is it a ludicrous accusation? Gay activists often criticize media coverage of gay pride parades, saying, correctly, that the media focus on the extreme side of the story, the more flamboyantly feminine men and very masculine women. But that's not us; most of us are just like everyone else: we act in a ‘heterosexual’ way. We’re just as ‘straight acting’ as it can be, Hollywood's frequent portrayal of gay men as pretentious feminine divas is not accurate at all, and speaking of which: who gets to determine what’s ‘straight’ in the first place and take that trait to themselves as if we’re off the balance of nature, even if they are gay accepting, they still call themselves ‘straight’?
The reason might be that gay men are obsessed with fashion, and that they tan a lot and that they color their hair. But the stereotypes are not always true, not all gay men are super-stylish and on the other hand, not all straight men are bad dressers.
There is research that suggests gay men do prefer certain professions, like fashion, interior design (not that we’re stereotyping) and hair coloring, and that lesbians are more likely to prefer sports and the militant position. Researchers say it's because lesbians, on average, are attracted to more ‘masculine’ or harsh occupations, and gay men tend to prefer more ‘feminine’ or delicate occupations; fabulous positions.
But in the first place, its hostility toward gay people drove many away from some other certain professions. Whether you work, you know, as an artist or a singer or a dancer, those are all really creative places where gay people are embraced and welcomed (think Marc from Ugly Betty!), increasingly gay people are visible in every profession, such as Rosie O'Donnell and Ellen DeGeneres which are high-profile lesbians working in comedy and daytime television, Barney Frank is an openly gay congressman from Massachusetts, and the writers of the show “Will and Grace” made their main gay character, Will Truman, a high-powered attorney.
But the stereotypes do persist. The show's most famous character, Jack McFarland, is flamboyantly feminine.
Now we might never really understand human sexuality, but sexual orientation is something people are born with for sure, and this orientation makes some gay men more feminine. There's no obvious reason why sexual orientation should be associated with how masculine or feminine one is, but it is in our species. And it probably has to do with the causes of sexual orientation and early effects of hormones on the brain. And people do talk about it for sure; it's no big deal, and as a matter of fact, it's almost celebrated if you're gay in the show biz. So what if there are a lot of gay men in dance? I personally think it's a good thing.
And then there’s this assumption that if you're a male ballet dancer you're definitely gay, and that’s quite silly because let's think about it: A male ballet dance would probably be working around beautiful women all day that are half naked. It's definitely a great job for straight guys (but too bad if you got too excited!).
Another stereotype is that gay people speak differently than straight people. That's often true. Gay men absolutely talk differently, on average. You can tell far better than chance who's a gay man from just listening to him mouthing four sentences.
Many people do think that gay men are more promiscuous than straight men, and in fact, gay men do have more sex partners, maybe for an unsettling future (and is a completely different topic). But it's because men, in general, want lots of partners and women, in general, do not. Women limit the amount of sex that straight men have. For sure, a typical straight man would have as many sex partners as the typical gay man if he could. (Surprising hah?!)
Denying stereotypes means that people have to disbelieve what is right there in front of their eyes. That can't be a good thing, furthermore, there's nothing wrong with being a feminine man or a masculine woman and vice-versa. But, of course, stereotypes can lead to ridicule and to violence. People have long mocked gay people, even attacked them, for being different. While there may be some differences between gays and straights, and on the other hand there are lots of similarities too, one of them is: both being human beings.
For straight people, whether they were open minded and gay tolerant or not, they pretty much think that man-to-man relationships are becoming a substitute to the traditional idea of a man-woman relationship, and some of those straight people also think that the glamorous gay scene in the media and especially in the fashion sector is another way to prove that, too. So, are gay men stealing the role of women in the world? Snatching those men, jobs and fabulous bags from them? Or is it a ludicrous accusation? Gay activists often criticize media coverage of gay pride parades, saying, correctly, that the media focus on the extreme side of the story, the more flamboyantly feminine men and very masculine women. But that's not us; most of us are just like everyone else: we act in a ‘heterosexual’ way. We’re just as ‘straight acting’ as it can be, Hollywood's frequent portrayal of gay men as pretentious feminine divas is not accurate at all, and speaking of which: who gets to determine what’s ‘straight’ in the first place and take that trait to themselves as if we’re off the balance of nature, even if they are gay accepting, they still call themselves ‘straight’?
The reason might be that gay men are obsessed with fashion, and that they tan a lot and that they color their hair. But the stereotypes are not always true, not all gay men are super-stylish and on the other hand, not all straight men are bad dressers.
There is research that suggests gay men do prefer certain professions, like fashion, interior design (not that we’re stereotyping) and hair coloring, and that lesbians are more likely to prefer sports and the militant position. Researchers say it's because lesbians, on average, are attracted to more ‘masculine’ or harsh occupations, and gay men tend to prefer more ‘feminine’ or delicate occupations; fabulous positions.
But in the first place, its hostility toward gay people drove many away from some other certain professions. Whether you work, you know, as an artist or a singer or a dancer, those are all really creative places where gay people are embraced and welcomed (think Marc from Ugly Betty!), increasingly gay people are visible in every profession, such as Rosie O'Donnell and Ellen DeGeneres which are high-profile lesbians working in comedy and daytime television, Barney Frank is an openly gay congressman from Massachusetts, and the writers of the show “Will and Grace” made their main gay character, Will Truman, a high-powered attorney.
But the stereotypes do persist. The show's most famous character, Jack McFarland, is flamboyantly feminine.
Now we might never really understand human sexuality, but sexual orientation is something people are born with for sure, and this orientation makes some gay men more feminine. There's no obvious reason why sexual orientation should be associated with how masculine or feminine one is, but it is in our species. And it probably has to do with the causes of sexual orientation and early effects of hormones on the brain. And people do talk about it for sure; it's no big deal, and as a matter of fact, it's almost celebrated if you're gay in the show biz. So what if there are a lot of gay men in dance? I personally think it's a good thing.
And then there’s this assumption that if you're a male ballet dancer you're definitely gay, and that’s quite silly because let's think about it: A male ballet dance would probably be working around beautiful women all day that are half naked. It's definitely a great job for straight guys (but too bad if you got too excited!).
Another stereotype is that gay people speak differently than straight people. That's often true. Gay men absolutely talk differently, on average. You can tell far better than chance who's a gay man from just listening to him mouthing four sentences.
Many people do think that gay men are more promiscuous than straight men, and in fact, gay men do have more sex partners, maybe for an unsettling future (and is a completely different topic). But it's because men, in general, want lots of partners and women, in general, do not. Women limit the amount of sex that straight men have. For sure, a typical straight man would have as many sex partners as the typical gay man if he could. (Surprising hah?!)
Denying stereotypes means that people have to disbelieve what is right there in front of their eyes. That can't be a good thing, furthermore, there's nothing wrong with being a feminine man or a masculine woman and vice-versa. But, of course, stereotypes can lead to ridicule and to violence. People have long mocked gay people, even attacked them, for being different. While there may be some differences between gays and straights, and on the other hand there are lots of similarities too, one of them is: both being human beings.