Drama Pain and Tears...Diaries of a gay teenager!
Dear Diary,
Everyday I wake up... Wondering what will happen on that day. School days are over thank God; I just can't forget all the pain I went through in this year... Bullies hunting me, school mates hating me... Treating me as a freak. I went sick of avoiding them... hiding in the library or even staying in the classroom... Facing them was the right thing to do... never mind what happened, the point was showing them that I can stand up to myself...I didn’t care if I got beaten up or even made a mockery of myself... all I wanted to do was punch whoever teased me in the face, but what I found out was that they only pick on you if you show them that you are weak ... if they see that your afraid that makes them think that you're vulnerable... so I didn't give them a chance to do so...
Let go my Parents have been scouting me although they know the truth but they're looking for hard proof.... It feels like I’m under a microscope and they're learning me... t is so annoying, I can't have any space, any privacy not even time to spend alone...wherever I go, Mom rings me... Even at home... I can't even chat with my friends online... my brother keeps on checking who I’m chatting with...
I Moved to Grandma's so I can do whatever I like to do. NO one Telling me what to do, when to wake up, when to study or even when to come back home... Everyone treats me as a teenager just because of my age... But they don't know that age is just a number... I want to be treated as an adult who can be responsible for every action he takes... I’m sick and tired of this life, I just want to runaway...
The only good thing in my life is that I have the greatest friends ever... They Listen to me and understand what I’m going through... they reach out a helping hand whenever I’m in need...If I fall they help to rise up and be stronger than ever.. Whenever I need someone to talk to or a shoulder to cry on, I find them beside me... No one treats me as human being except for them... Life treats me just like a baby treats its diaper... 4 months have passed on the year 2008 and I haven’t seen not a glimpse of hope that things are going to be alright.... Everything has just been going bad so far... I just can't wait for weekends to come so I can go out, have fun and not care about anything else....
I'm Insomniac now... all because of worrying my family will finally know the truth about me... thinking, wondering, or even knowing how will they react... its either dad will shoot me in the head, kick me out of the house, or just ground me for life with a detector on me observing my every move... I just want to runaway... I want to give up on everything... I’m screwed up....
Listening to Avril's Dramatic Lyrics helps me forget all the shit that has been going on.... Seriously I need some space... I wish that everything would just disappear... I can't handle this drama... I can't go on with this life... I need a new one... a new start... A fresh page. All the pages torn apart...I’m getting nowhere in this condition... The pain inside my head.... My heart aching for some peace, some serenity... some happiness... is it so hard to be happy???