Coming Out - Vol. II
By: Max Jamie
Finding the righteous path back to sanity again after dropping all the acts, and standing exposed before the eyes of your family and friends, and after having the (I am Gay) tag that will forever stay stuck on you, you'll need a rest. One might think that after coming out the sun will shine yellow and warm again, but not always, not necessarily.
There are many shades of trouble that will come along even after coming out. Now that you're all out and proud, the image of the person you are will change in front of the society. You'll be treated according to your sexuality not your personality. They'll only see the gay side of you not the whole you, so note that aside. Again, I have to say, that I am stating the negative side of coming out here, but there is a positive part of coming out. Your understanding family and friends will be the shield you can always count on. If the society understands as well, being gay will only be a bonus, just another characteristic of who you are. You'd be treated as an equal human being with a different way of loving. Coming out as dramatic as it might be, it can be such a relief as well.
Post-coming out acceptance is hard to gain. After you have been labeled - (different) - people will take turns judging you, especially people of the same sex. They'll be treating you differently, maybe keeping their distance; avoiding any kind of physical contact with you. That all is a possibility, symptoms that might occur up for post coming out. People of the opposite sex will however feel relieved and might take you as their best friend. Thus you have to start explaining to your straight friends that gay people do not hit on every person on the same sex, and that they won't go around bothering straight people. If they get that, your life will be easier.
Many out of most experience depression after coming out. This can be for a number of reasons, including loneliness, family rejection or a sudden change in lifestyle. In an attempt to recover and get back on track, many gays take time to create a personal inventory which can help map out their future goals as openly gay people. Coming out doesn't mean compromising and losing your life as a gay person. It means carrying on with your life, building a new one and leaving shame behind.
One of many ways to get through coming out sane, is sticking with your partner – (if you have one) – if not, try to wall yourself with good friends and people. Use the strength they'll give you to your side. However, the story changes if you and your partner are coming out at the same time. I suggest you do it slowly and carefully. Start by telling your family that he/she isn’t just a roommate or a friend. That you two are together for romantic reasons with no prior notice. Explain to them that you two are happy together. Parents care about the happiness of their child, show them how blessed you are to have he/she as your life partner. Talk about the issues that you helped one another over come. Talk about their company.
As for your friends, they might have had their doubt if you two attended social activities together, all you have to do is confirm that you're a couple and that you're not much different from them.
They'll accept you and take you in gladly if they are TRUE to you.
There's nothing better than letting go of the double life and living as one, honestly. But please think before you do it. Read Part One and Part two of this coming out plan and decide carefully. Remember, no one can force you to come out unless you want to. Coming out, as always have been, a personal choice. So take your time.
Editor’s Note: Both articles; coming out part 1 and 2, are written, and advised by Max, who is out to her family. Writing her point of view and her experience may help you on what you need to know. Note that, we’re not influencing anyone on coming out, we’re giving the help that is needed and the advice given to help you see all the cards. The rest is a personal decision. Also note, to every person a different family to deal with, not to mention the environment to a closed or open-minded family.