When My BFF Gets A
(His best friend forever, or his boyfriend?)
based on a true & tried search
Models from L to R; Omar, Yanal, Asma.
Devastation, loneliness, betrayal, left out, weak, unworthy, angry, depressed, stabbed, jealous and unfocused; those are the common feelings you approach for when your best friend doesn’t give you the attention you both used to have together. It all started with the song “how could an angel break my heart” and it continues till you feel left out. Is that normal? Is he/she wrong for doing that? Why am I ignored?
When your best friend is single, he/she is more up to having fun and hanging out, sharing feelings and obsess about ex’s, slumber parties, sleepovers, talking about school or work, it’s almost like a relationship itself, so you’re both focused on each other, but when the heart gets weak, and when the candles burn out and the windows start to fog out, your best friend’s new lover will be in the picture from now on. Hanging out at the ice-cream shop, you’ll notice a new face, a new baby booboo talk, and butterfly kisses, oh yeah, that’s the new boy in friendship town. “Jealous??” “Very!” so am I in love with my best friend? Because that’s not right, no, you’re jealous from the more time he gives to his boy friend. Your devastated cause all your sorrows aren’t shared any more, you feel lonelier when there’s no one to hang out with. You feel betrayal because you think he forget you, you feel left out, not included in plans, sorrows, events, gossip, and nights out, you feel angry from him, cause he doesn’t give you time anymore, you feel angry cause he’s letting your friendship fades, depressed from the hurtful words you might say, but you know what? He’s worth fighting for; he’s your best friend, the closest person to yourself after yourself.
You thought you could keep his secrets, and feel like the only one who gets to know them, you’re like his safe, but later you discover that his lover already went there within a week, and you’ve spent like months to get your friend’s trust and then he comes over and takes it all, is that fair? Is it? Then those words of that song again comes singing along in your head “how could an angel break my heart, why didn’t he catch my falling star, I wish I didn’t wish so hard, how could an angel break my heart?”. And as much as I hate to admit, it’s life’s nature, and people do move on, I learned friends are always there, but as much as yourself standing for yourself.
He’s happy, and she’s in love, why not giving them the space to realize how much they miss us? How much we’re important in there lives? Remember the time you use to have together, cutting it in half, half for friendship and half for love, and just like anyone else, give them space, time, and good vibes. They haven’t forgot about you, they’re just under pressure from school or maybe work, maybe projects and family issues, and never hide what you feel from them, share, some times they miss a signal, and remember you’ll always be informed about them by them. Noticing the change and adapting to it isn’t easy, so to understand the development in your friendship try these insider tips:
1- Give him time, to be with his new crush, to organize his time with you and with him, he counts on you for giving cutting him some slack, so just give him space.
2- Understand his happiness. I know it’s not easy on you for him not giving you time or the attention that used to be given, but he’s happy with his new crush, and be sure that he’ll be around soon to gossip about it, because he would do the same for you.
3- Don’t pressure him. Because you may think he’s not giving you enough time because he’s focusing on his crush, but in many cases he’s focused on school exams, university projects, family issues and probably work, so don’t give him more stress than he’s already under, just wait, and understand his situation.
4- Speak up whenever you feel left out, tell him how you feel, but not by attacking with your words, just speak it all, discuss your side and listen to his, and know this, all people face that with there mates, not just you.
Things change when a person gets a lover, it’s totally normal when it affects friendship, and we need to develop acceptance to it, some of the signs that will occur to your friendship are:
1- Spending short time together, he will mostly be a bit focused on his lover, giving him time and attention.
2- His boyfriend will attend in most of your night outs, time together. Your friend love to feel that he got a BF on his side and in his way he wants to introduce him to the close people.
3- Your friend will tell every thing you both talk about, he’ll involve him in your subjects and the things you did and will do.
Are you pushing your (into-a-relationship) best friend over the limit? Check out the signs you might be showing that could lead for your friendship to an unhappy ending.