Stories of My LBB!
My 7 dates of hell... what a night!
By Mike R.
You’d think that quitting dating will save you from the rose-petal cheesy daydreams? What is your date’s mood changed from a K. Hudson rom-com into a J.Lo thriller? I admit dating is one dark comedy movie, having its own gloomy and disturbing elements that ironically you can’t reverse nor recover from! And have had my share of unfortunate dates, thus I stopped taking notes. According to personal experience, and to my little black-book, I and by I, I mean we, all have our ups and downs when it comes to relationships, but what happens when the escalator takes you only down? So out of the ordinary, such a typical Friday night and not your usual magical car-drive… all started in the remarkable advances and ended up in the funny forms of my LBB (Little Black-Book). Introducing my 7 dates of hell, grab your note books, cause these are the stories to note!
Date #1: Fast love & Fast Food!
The Unfortunate Dating Location
I think it was on a Monday – not so sure but anyways – after a long night of searching online for this perfect match, I suddenly get my eyes on this very attractive, well built guy, bold with facial hair and muscles, I decided to nudge and take a chance. Fortunately, he replies back, and we chat all night long. We exchange numbers and set our first date. On Thursday morning he calls me and reminds me that we’ll be meeting, I get excited that I prepared myself 3 hours before the actual thing. It was now time to leave and go out to meet this special one, I get in a cab while talking to him and I ask him to give directions to the driver, cause I didn’t know where the place was. The taxi driver nods his head, loudly saying:”Ooh yes, I know it don’t you worry“.
After hearing that the driver knows the place, I relax and wait till we get there. At a certain point, I find myself at The Jordanian University Street and say to myself that this is very odd because the guy never mentioned anything about going to University Street. Again, I thought maybe I was picking him up, so we can actually go to the place. Suddenly the taxi stops in front of this place that sells Falafel and Fast food called “Siveen” (I don’t know if this is how it’s written, I didn’t even bother to look at the sign). The driver tells me that this is the place, and out of curiosity I look around waiting for him to come and get in the cab, but no one shows up. I ask the taxi driver to wait 5 minutes and I call the guy, me:”Hello, hi… Um, where are you? I think you gave the guy the wrong address. I’m in front of “Siveen”, he replies:”Oh! No it’s right, come I’m waiting for you.” I paid the cab, walked inside and found him waiting for the food. He ordered this jacket potato for both of us and asked me to go sit upstairs in the family section because it’s too crowded downstairs. I couldn’t say anything at that point. I waited for the date to end. And from that night, I made sure I had a say to where I am going for dates.
Date#2: They say change it, I say WTF!
The Unfortunate Dress Code Excuse
On a late Tuesday night, while checking this dating site I find an inbox that says: “you are so sweet and so honest. I love your profile info, shame it has no picture, hope we get to know each other much better, this my email ………@yahoo.com add me, I’m serious looking for a relationship and not interested in anything else ATM, I’ll be on all night waiting.” It was so romantic with how it ended with I’ll be waiting, I mean they don’t do them like that anymore! I take the chance and add him. He was good looking but still, I needed to get to know him more. We talked for an hour then he had to go sleep because he had work the next morning. He asked me out on a date on Friday. We exchange numbers and he asks if he could meet me at a place and pick me up since I wasn’t going to be at home. Anyways, Friday exceeds the calendar and at 5:00 PM, he calls telling me we could meet. After half an hour, he shows up wearing his Abaya (Dish Dasheh) that was stained with something, and he says: “I’m so sorry I couldn’t change. I went for the Friday prayers and then had lunch, then napped for a while and now I’m here.” Seriously?! And Seriously, I have nothing against the Abaya but I thought it was disrespectful! For me at least!
Date#3: Hung up? I should’ve hanged up too!
The Unfortunate Ex
This was one of the dates that I met through a friend. It was set up at this social gathering. We met and got acquainted. As the conversation progressed, I found so many things in common, but there was this one little problem. This guy kept talking about his ex. Every time he mentioned his ex, he couldn’t hold himself and was about to burst into tears. At first I thought it was normal since I thought that this was a recent thing that happened (are you thinking rebound too?), perhaps a month or two ago. I decide to ask how long it has been since they broke up, “Um excuse me for asking. I understand that this break up must be painful, but how long has it been?” he looks at me as if I killed his ex with a golden axe, and replies in a cold tone: “it’s been two years.” At the moment I knew there was something wrong. Still while we’re at it, another guy approaches us says hi and introduces himself, then asks my friend: “are you ready to leave?” then my guy says:”we can leave in 5” the guy leaves, then all of sudden my date says with a sarcastic laugh:”that was my Ex” The SOB was still in an open relationship!
You’d think that quitting dating will save you from the rose-petal cheesy daydreams? What is your date’s mood changed from a K. Hudson rom-com into a J.Lo thriller? I admit dating is one dark comedy movie, having its own gloomy and disturbing elements that ironically you can’t reverse nor recover from! And have had my share of unfortunate dates, thus I stopped taking notes. According to personal experience, and to my little black-book, I and by I, I mean we, all have our ups and downs when it comes to relationships, but what happens when the escalator takes you only down? So out of the ordinary, such a typical Friday night and not your usual magical car-drive… all started in the remarkable advances and ended up in the funny forms of my LBB (Little Black-Book). Introducing my 7 dates of hell, grab your note books, cause these are the stories to note!
Date #1: Fast love & Fast Food!
The Unfortunate Dating Location
I think it was on a Monday – not so sure but anyways – after a long night of searching online for this perfect match, I suddenly get my eyes on this very attractive, well built guy, bold with facial hair and muscles, I decided to nudge and take a chance. Fortunately, he replies back, and we chat all night long. We exchange numbers and set our first date. On Thursday morning he calls me and reminds me that we’ll be meeting, I get excited that I prepared myself 3 hours before the actual thing. It was now time to leave and go out to meet this special one, I get in a cab while talking to him and I ask him to give directions to the driver, cause I didn’t know where the place was. The taxi driver nods his head, loudly saying:”Ooh yes, I know it don’t you worry“.
After hearing that the driver knows the place, I relax and wait till we get there. At a certain point, I find myself at The Jordanian University Street and say to myself that this is very odd because the guy never mentioned anything about going to University Street. Again, I thought maybe I was picking him up, so we can actually go to the place. Suddenly the taxi stops in front of this place that sells Falafel and Fast food called “Siveen” (I don’t know if this is how it’s written, I didn’t even bother to look at the sign). The driver tells me that this is the place, and out of curiosity I look around waiting for him to come and get in the cab, but no one shows up. I ask the taxi driver to wait 5 minutes and I call the guy, me:”Hello, hi… Um, where are you? I think you gave the guy the wrong address. I’m in front of “Siveen”, he replies:”Oh! No it’s right, come I’m waiting for you.” I paid the cab, walked inside and found him waiting for the food. He ordered this jacket potato for both of us and asked me to go sit upstairs in the family section because it’s too crowded downstairs. I couldn’t say anything at that point. I waited for the date to end. And from that night, I made sure I had a say to where I am going for dates.
Date#2: They say change it, I say WTF!
The Unfortunate Dress Code Excuse
On a late Tuesday night, while checking this dating site I find an inbox that says: “you are so sweet and so honest. I love your profile info, shame it has no picture, hope we get to know each other much better, this my email ………@yahoo.com add me, I’m serious looking for a relationship and not interested in anything else ATM, I’ll be on all night waiting.” It was so romantic with how it ended with I’ll be waiting, I mean they don’t do them like that anymore! I take the chance and add him. He was good looking but still, I needed to get to know him more. We talked for an hour then he had to go sleep because he had work the next morning. He asked me out on a date on Friday. We exchange numbers and he asks if he could meet me at a place and pick me up since I wasn’t going to be at home. Anyways, Friday exceeds the calendar and at 5:00 PM, he calls telling me we could meet. After half an hour, he shows up wearing his Abaya (Dish Dasheh) that was stained with something, and he says: “I’m so sorry I couldn’t change. I went for the Friday prayers and then had lunch, then napped for a while and now I’m here.” Seriously?! And Seriously, I have nothing against the Abaya but I thought it was disrespectful! For me at least!
Date#3: Hung up? I should’ve hanged up too!
The Unfortunate Ex
This was one of the dates that I met through a friend. It was set up at this social gathering. We met and got acquainted. As the conversation progressed, I found so many things in common, but there was this one little problem. This guy kept talking about his ex. Every time he mentioned his ex, he couldn’t hold himself and was about to burst into tears. At first I thought it was normal since I thought that this was a recent thing that happened (are you thinking rebound too?), perhaps a month or two ago. I decide to ask how long it has been since they broke up, “Um excuse me for asking. I understand that this break up must be painful, but how long has it been?” he looks at me as if I killed his ex with a golden axe, and replies in a cold tone: “it’s been two years.” At the moment I knew there was something wrong. Still while we’re at it, another guy approaches us says hi and introduces himself, then asks my friend: “are you ready to leave?” then my guy says:”we can leave in 5” the guy leaves, then all of sudden my date says with a sarcastic laugh:”that was my Ex” The SOB was still in an open relationship!